Christmas '07

Christmas '07

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As shown in the picture, I gave my three young cousins--James, John Paul and CJ--a box ofcolored chalk as a Chritsmas present. AStig. Having learned from my major that we should opt for toys that promote creativity, toys which are open-ended (many ways to play with them), I decided to give them Crayola colored chalk. Natuwa talaga sila. After convincing my aunt to allow my cousins to use the garage floor as a canvass/"paper", we filled it with drawings and scribbles that were something new to my cousins. Cool. I was successful in drawing them away from the computer games they were playing with before i came. I'm quite happy that I'm applying what I'm learning in early Childhood education.

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Pasko na pala. After early dawn masses, so-late carolings and tiangge raids, Christmas parties, choir duties, an asthma attack after three years and what not, Christmas has come and I wasn't prepared for the Lord's Bday. Bad. Bad.

Hay... dON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT THINGS THOUGH!

Sige na.

Christmas naman e Give myself a break please.

Maawa naman ako sa sarili ko.

Merry Christmas!

Sorry Lord, nahihirapan talaga ako. Baka naman tinatamad lang ako lumaban?

Larangan ng Pagtakas at Pag-iwas

Balik koro...

Kagabi, matapos ipahiwatig sa akin ang aking pagbigo sa mga tao buhat ng ako'y magtangkang tumakas, ay inilatag sa aking harapan ang ang aking mga responsibilidad bilang kalihim ng Koro Stigmatino. Ngayon ko lang napagtanto na gano'ng kabigat pala sila. Tuloy, ay napaisip ako. Hindi pala talaga puwedeng lagi na lang tumatakas. Kahit gaano na ako kabihasa sa larangan ng pagtakas at pagiwas, sadyang isip-bata ang ganitong gawain.

Ayoko kasi ng responsibilidad. Nakakatakot. Nakakakaba. Magaling naman akong taga-suporta hindi ba? Ginagawa ko naman ang lahat sa aking makakaya upang maging isang mahusay na miyembro--maagang nag-aaral ng mga piyesa, pinahuhusay ang sarili sa pagbasa ng mga nota at ine-ensayo araw-araw ang aking boses upang maging isang ganap na bass. Hindi pa ba tama yun? Hindi ba talaga puwede yun?

Malamang hindi. Siguro panahon nang harapin ko naman ang mga takot ko sa buhay, panahon na na ako ay lumaki't magbago. Kaya naman kagabi'y tunay na tumatak sa akin ang mga salitang ito:

Hindi ka na puwedeng matakot

Hindi ka na puwedeng mahiya
Hindi ka na puwedeng magalinlangan

sapagkat...

May kasaysayan kang pangangalagaan
May pagkakakilanlan kang dapat protektahan
Madaming umaasa sa iyo

at syempre, ang hindi mawawala

Isko ka ng bayan

Sa totoo lang, nabigatan ako. Pero napansin ko kapag nabibigatan ako, lalo akong nagpupursige. Ganito ako sa aking pag-aaral. Kaya naman mahilig ako sa mga terror-prof. Dapat takutin niyo muna ako para ako'y gumalaw.

Hay, ang hindi ko lang ganap na maaninag ay kung bakit kahit na akin nang napatunayan na ako'y isip-bata't duwag ay sadyang pinagkaaktiwalaan pa rin at binibigyang pagkakataon upang bumawi. Ang wirdo. Hindi ba dapat napatunayan na ng aking pagtangkang tumakas na hidni ako karapat-dapat?

Wirdo

Gayunpaman, nagdesisyon na ako harapin ang mga responsibilidad. Lagi kong sinasambit na di ko nais ang maging isang medicore. Kung gayon, dapat na akong mag-mature.

At wika nga ng isang kaibigan, "steady lang...focus."

bull-fest

Read between the lines

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things are just pure bull.

why can't people appreciate people for what

they can contirubute, say in a society?

why do people pressure people to do things

they are not comfortable doing?

why can't people accept NO for an answer?

can't a person choose what he wants to share?

why expect so much from a person?

Whatever

Messed up ME

Can't believe sembreak's ending. Compared to my previous sembreaks, nothing happened this year actually.
Well, theoretically that's impossible. Nothingness is something happening:
So far this sem i was able...

1.) to get the original OVER MY HEAD
(cable car) by the FRAY piano sheet for free
and am almost finish.
2.) to catch up with friends
3.) to enter my 6th month in the gym
4.) to cook and bake (learned new techniques btw)
5.) t0 blog
6.) to read
7.) to watch movies
8.) hay... and sadly, to think

Sana maka-driving lessons pa ako kahit less than 2 weeks na lang.
Tapos, i have to finish my shirt design for the artwork contest
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KORO Evals na sa Saturday. Gudluck (lalo na sa Tagumpay piece).
Plus the aniv party where I have to wear something cowboy-ish
Another Gudluck.
(I usually skip parties that require costumes hehe)
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bummer...
I'm still waiting for a one more grade
4 1.5s so far
Not bad I guess
I'm really enjoying educ so much
(hanggang kailan kaya?)

Really thanking the Lord for giving me 2 educ subjects, PI 100 and BIO 1 on the online enlistment. That's 2 pahirapang-pumila down the drain

Here's my enlistment schedule right now before the last processing:

I'm trying to get a better PI 100 class (11:30-1:00) on a tuesday kasi EDR 121 lang ang meron ako at 4 pm (gudluck naman). Then also trying to see if I can get an EDFD 116 instead of the 2:30 PI 100.

LET's see what happens...

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SERIOUSLY...

I'm pretty messed up right now and it feels shit
really just want to shout my lungs out.

At Giligan's

We ate, did videoke, then ate some more. Hehe.
Earlier, at Giligan's (festival branch) we celebrated my Dad's bday. We rented a videoke room where we ate our hearts out and sang our lungs out. It was really fun. Since my sister and I went to college, our family day-outs were lessened, no wonder we really miss them.

Then, went around the mall, bought stuff, and window shopped. What was quite amazing though was that I bumped into my First grade teacher-adviser. Nostalgic. i could still remember that classroom where I first had a teacher that wasn't my mom (we own a prep schoolÜ).

Teacher LOR Lagdameo still looked young despite her retirement age--the sweet smile was still on her face, the posture that deserved respect was still earning respect, and her calming but stern voice was still making ears listen. Imagine, that was like a decade ago. Buti na lang sharp talaga memory ko on people.

hay... i wish i could just stay a first grader forever (hahah peter pan!). Really miss those times where you go to school, learn the basics, and enjoy life. hehehe.

Told ya, it was nostalgic.

ANYWAYS...
Happy BDAY PAPS!!!

Wala lang. Even if my parents do not really know me, i still feel safe and protected when i'm with them. Sometimes, when everything seems chaotic, pressuring and simply "whatever-or-who-cares", it feels good to know that I have a family to go home to.

Thanks Lord